Wednesday, February 25, 2009

"So Lonely...he has nobody .... hes on his ownnnn!!"

There he was. Sitting down on the pavement at the corner of bay and bloor st this afternoon, at 5:36pm. He didn't speak much. He held up a sign that said unemployed and needs food! Godbless you. He looked like a ratty old doll that had been laying around in the mud and then thrown in the garbage. He wore a hat that said " got beer?". Little parts of his grey hair were revealing under his cap. His hair almost seemed as if it had some sort of yellow in it. He wore a dark green coat that was buttoned up and grey velvet pants. His shoes were velcro and weren't sticking very well.

He has been on the street for almost a whole year now. His wife kicked him out of the house because he was unemployed and she was a snob herself. He had no children just a dog that lay beside him. Both of them haven't eaten. They were eating out of the garbage today. Eating cores of apples and leftovers that people waste.

They didn't bother anyone just sat down. They had a coffee time cup in front of them for spare change that any pedestrians may have for them. The cup was empty. All he really wanted was some food and maybe someone to talk to. Tell someone how he feels and share some jokes. Imagine being outside for a whole year by yourself, with no one to talk to except for a dog that can only bark back at you. As I walked past them I put 6 dollars in the cup and said to him have a nice day. He had a huge smile and said thank you, god bless you child.
I would have talked to this man but I was by myself and too scared. But just keep in mind that some people on the streets just don't have enough courage and power to get up and find a job. So help them out a quarter wont kill you but help another.

4 comments:

Ms.C said...

This is definitely better than the previous one.

To make it better:

Take yourself and the lecture out of the story (last paragraph)

Focus on why he is on the street? What happened to his job? Why can't he get another one? If he's a snob, he comes from money, so how did he fall this far? Where did he get the dog?

Fill in the gaps.

Also edit your writing.

Michelle said...

I really like how you described his clothes and how you showed us how he felt in the last paragraph.

I notice that you frequently start your sentences with "He" in the first and second paragraphs. I think you should try to use it only once or twice in one paragraph, because if you start your sentences the same way all the time it gets repetitive.

Mchale 09 said...

I liked this blog i thought it was very descriptive. You gave the guy 6 dollars, im guessing you felt really bad for him. after reading this i feel really bad for him to and probably would have gave him some money, i always give those kind of people money.

Ms.C said...

None of the poetry assignment done :(